How to Know if a Relationship is Over

By | January 29, 2020

When is it time to say goodbye to a relationship?

You may be wondering how to know if a relationship is over. That is a valid question, and sometimes, the answer isn’t clear. You could be in a relationship for two months or ten years and struggle with knowing when it’s time to pull the plug. Here are some clear signs that a relationship is over.

Nobody is happy anymore

It’s natural to go through rough times with your partner. Everyone has bumps in the road in their relationships, but when the bad outweighs the good, it’s time to change something or call it quits. If both people are having issues being happy in the relationship, that shows that the relationship needs to either go through couples counseling or end. If you’ve tried everything you can and both people are still unhappy in the relationship, then it’s time to call it quits. You only have so much time on this earth, and it’s not worth it to spend your time unhappy. It’s important to communicate with your partner and talk about what each of you wants. If they can’t provide you with what you want, if they’re ignoring your needs or telling you that what you need is wrong, that’s not a good sign, and it’s time to move on the same goes for the other way around. If there’s abuse happening, it is time to leave. Abuse is not something that anyone should endure.

The intimacy is gone

Physical intimacy is important to many couples. When you have an intimate relationship and find that your sex life is waning, it’s a sign that the relationship could be on the way out. Some people feel like they don’t need it, or they don’t desire sexual intimacy as much as others, but a lot of couples feel like having an active life in the bedroom is extremely important. A sex therapist may be helpful in this situation. You want to focus on making each other happy and want to consider the needs of each person in this dynamic. If your partner isn’t interested in working through intimacy issues or vice versa and there’s continuous discord surrounding the topic, it might be time to call it quits.

You’re imagining breaking up constantly

If you keep imagining yourself as a single person and you’re in a relationship, that’s likely a sign that it’s time to leave. If you’re trying to reassure yourself that there’s a reason you’re in this relationship and come up with bullet points to stay, take a moment to think about if you’re merely convincing yourself to stay but don’t truly want to. It isn’t fair to your partner or yourself to envision yourself single or with someone else, while you’re dating, engaged, or married to someone already, so if you find yourself in this situation, it’s time to go.

Self-sabotage

Often, people have a hard time saying goodbye to a relationship when it’s because the connection isn’t working and not due to a particular event, so instead of doing that, they self-sabotage. They might look for little things or small signs that a relationship should end so that they can pick fights or create a “reason” that the relationship should end. They might even cheat on their partner so that there’s a reason to call it off. If you find yourself attempting to sabotage your relationship, it’s time for the relationship to end.

You don’t share the same goals in life

If you want to start a family and your partner doesn’t, that can be a sign that a relationship should end. You want to be on the same page as your partner because that is a critical part of moving forward together. Of course, you’ll have different hobbies and interests, but having a long-term relationship entails holding shared goals for how you’d like the relationship to move forward in the future. If you don’t communicate your needs and wants surrounding the partnership, it’s time to start, and if those goals don’t align, it might be time to go.

Couples counseling

If you’re not sure if your relationship is over or not, couples counseling can help. Whether you see a couples counselor in person or online, counseling is a great place to explore the issues in your relationship and come to a conclusion about what to do. An objective third party is often a crucial part of working through issues in families and romantic relationships. Online counseling is an affordable, comfortable, and confidential place to talk with a couple’s counselor. There’s no need to be afraid to confront difficult issues in your relationship because you might find that your relationship isn’t over after all; it just needs a little bit of work. Therapy can be a game-changer, so give it a fair shot and don’t hold back.


The Good Men Project